If you’re from the same generation as I am (I’m 42), then you probably heard this phrase many times growing up. “Do as I say and not as I do.” While I imagine it feels good to say it, it’s not really great parenting.
Here’s why.
Our kids learn way more by watching what we do than they do by listening to us.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t instruct our kids, of course, we should. It is our responsibility to teach them and to train them. But we have to be mindful of the fact that we instruct them with our actions and not just with our words.
If we don’t want them to yell at their siblings then we should probably not yell at them. If we don’t like it when they ignore us, we shouldn’t make them work so hard to get our attention. I could go on, but there is rarely any value in beating a dead horse.
We should always ask ourselves if we are modeling the kind of person we want our kids to be because they are always watching us.
Ryan North is the Co-Founder of One Big Happy Home and creator of The Empowered Parent Podcast. He is a recognized expert on childhood trauma, a TBRI Practitioner, and develops training materials for parents, schools, churches, and child-placing agencies. Ryan is a sought-after speaker known for his engaging and practical approach to communicating complex issues clearly and relatable to a wide range of audiences.