How often do we hide behind a mask that says to the world we’ve got this when inside we are falling apart?
Some days we may pull the mask off for a minute only to be told by people around us that they really preferred when we kept our mask on. They may not say those exact words, but their silence and avoidance speak volumes.
The emotions behind the mask are too much for them.
The hard stuff we are going through is uncomfortable for them to hear.
So we pull on our mask once again and when people ask how we are doing we say “fine” and keep going.
I know families right now who are:
- making the hard decision to place their child in a treatment facility to get help
- grieving the loss of children or a failed marriage
- watching their child suffer from mental illness and not knowing what to do
- trying to get help for their child who is violent and aggressive
- struggling to find support for their child at school
For most of these families, they try to lower their masks. They want to be seen. But the hard is too much for those around them.
So they put their mask back on.
If someone shares the hard they are going through. If they dare to try and take the mask off for a moment…
Listen.
Pray.
It’s not about whether you feel uncomfortable or if you know how to respond. It’s not about you at all.
Don’t be afraid to ask how things are going a few days later. A few weeks later. They want to take off the mask and share.
They need someone to listen.
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Kayla North is co-founder of One Big Happy Home and is considered an expert on childhood trauma. Along with her husband, she has developed training materials and programs for parents, churches, and schools educating them on trauma and its impacts. Kayla is also an affiliate trainer with Trauma Free World, an ETC Parent Trainer, TBRI practitioner, and the Executive Directory of Tapestry. She speaks at churches, schools, conferences, and retreats nationwide.