I recently suggested we watch a movie together as a family. Over the years I have learned with six kids in the house, (seven this week) you can't ask them what they want to watch at the same time, you have to ask them individually. Perhaps there is no greater optimist than the parent who thinks [...]
Thanksgiving is that time of year when we hear lots of advice to be thankful and to 'count your blessings.' We see the cute Pinterest ideas that show ways to be grateful and to keep track of the blessings we have received. All these things are good. We should be grateful. We should remember the [...]
It's easy to fall into the trap of isolation. As an adoptive or foster parent, there are times when we wish our friends and family could read our minds, sparing us the need to explain our emotions, challenges, and reactions to our children's behaviors. There are moments when exhaustion overwhelms us, leaving us unable to [...]
Does the mention of this childhood game conjure up big emotions for anyone other than me? I clearly remember the sweaty metal smell of our school playground and the angst that grew inside me as I tried to choose the least conspicuous way to slide into a group during our morning recess. Tag on the [...]
It is not unusual for one caregiver to embrace connected parenting before the other. The resulting rub often yields friction that cuts through all aspects of your relationship. This is a difficult place to be, but you are not alone.After presenting on trauma-informed care to our community (way to show up, Sioux Falls!), a participant [...]
I remember as a young foster mom struggling with really tough behaviors. Having never had kids before I wasn't sure what was typical kid stuff and what was a result of trauma. I did have one persistent thought. I wasn't up to the task. I felt overwhelmed and tired from constant meltdowns and rages that [...]
Finding the "Why" Behind My Behavior It was an embarrassing sort of “Aha.” The kind you look back on and wonder how you could be so dull. We had been struggling with our 13-year-old daughter for months over the simplest things. Her exit to the bus each morning was akin to a tumbleweed rolling to [...]
Parenting Scripts Without Shame When our kids do various things that drive us bonkers, it can be easy to use shame and blame to try and get them to stop. We get frustrated and often revert to our old way of parenting. Instead, let’s try some short and simple scripts that can keep us from [...]
Advocating at School Back to school can be a hard time for many families. The nervousness of meeting new friends, new teachers, and being away from home can cause some big, and sometimes baffling, behaviors. So how do we equip our kids with the skills they need to be successful? How do we communicate with [...]
Compliance or Relationship? Often moms will vent to me about how sick they are of kids arguing with everything they ask them to do. They just want them to do what they are asked to do without an attitude. I can totally relate! I have those days when all I want is compliance. Just one [...]