Big families are hard. Big families are wonderful. So many moving parts and so many messes. So many tears, and so many laughs. How do we keep it together? How do we schedule our time, yet leave time for spontaneous fun?

Start with a routine

It doesn’t have to be a minute by minute schedule, but rather a flow to your day. Having a routine can help our kids feel safe. Knowing what comes next can help our kids who have anxiety or fears. Routines will help everyone feel a sense of predictability.

Spend time doing connecting activities

Some of our favorite activities are: tea time with a read-aloud book (we all love tea and tea time means cookies), going for a walk around the block (sometimes this includes bikes, scooters, ripsticks, and dogs too), playing simple card games, and watching competition shows on TV like Master Chef Jr. and America’s Got Talent.

Each of these activities takes less than an hour and brings lots of laughter and connection that we need! Even 20-30 minutes each day can go a long way to staying more connected and having a more peaceful home. 

Don’t fight about school work

Whether your kids go to a brick and mortar school, or they are homeschooled, getting lots of kids to do school work can be a battle. Don’t let it steal your joy!

There are so many opportunities for learning all around us. As a classroom teacher for 11 years and a homeschooling mom for the past 12 years, I can tell you that homework is not worth ruining relationships. If you are battling to get homework done when your kids get home from school, consider modifying the work.

Talk to the teachers to find out what is essential, play games to review concepts, and allow time for your kids to be kids. If you homeschool and the school work is a battle, consider modifying your schedule to include more play and free learning. Find subjects your kids enjoy and gear the work you can around those subjects.

Hear me say it again…homework is not worth ruining your relationship with your child. 

Get a handle on the chores

As far as housework, we have tried so many different routines and schedules and finally, have one that works for us.  I won’t spend too much time explaining it, but everyone helps from the adults down to the six-year-old. 

Around 5:00 pm, everyone stops what they are doing and we do chores for about 30 min. Each of the big kids has a “zone” to straighten in the main part of the house. They pick up clutter, sweep floors, wipe down sinks, restock toilet paper, etc.

The little kids are paired with an adult and assigned certain tasks in the remaining zone. It is amazing how quickly the house feels so much cleaner.

Then on Saturday morning, we detail clean by wiping baseboards, dusting furniture, and scrubbing toilets. This system has worked well for us for many years. It’s not perfect. Some zones aren’t cleaned to my standards, but its progress. It’s showing our kids the importance of a family working together to get a job done and it helps me keep my sanity just a bit.

Make a plan for laundry

I haven’t yet done a Marie Kondo organization of the laundry, so there is still way too much. Half of what is on the floor in bedrooms is not actually dirty. One day I’ll figure that part out and let you know, but for now, we do laundry daily.

We also divide the laundry by bedroom and each room has their own day of the week. Everyone helps from putting in the wash (we stopped sorting and just use cold water) to putting away. It’s not perfect. Someone is always looking for something, and the laundry is never finished. And none of it really sparks joy. Sigh…

Those are some of the ways we organize our family of eight. We’d love to hear what you are doing in your families. Please share them in the comments below.