mother and child

I met a girl named Jaime at Trader Joe’s the other day. She approached me and asked me if some of my children were adopted. After many years of being a foster and adoptive mom I am used to random people stopping me and asking me about my kids. When I was a new foster mom, I was excited to tell people about our foster care adventure.

As my kids got older I started getting annoyed at all of the nosey questions most people ask. Most people seem to have good intentions, but end up saying dumb things like, “Which ones are yours?”…to which I reply, “All of them!”  Usually I’m nice about it, but sometimes I’m not…but I digress. 🙂

I told her that we have adopted some and that we are also foster parents. She then asked me about the relationship with our adopted kid’s birth families. Thankfully Ryan was with me and was able to take the kids out of earshot. I politely told her we have an open adoption with one of our kiddos and tried to continue my shopping.

But then she began to sob.

Right there in the middle of the produce section, she started crying and told me how she had given her baby boy up for adoption back in August. She told me how the adoptive parents had agreed to an open adoption and given her their phone number and a P.O.Box address, but they weren’t answering or returning her calls.

She told me how she loved him and was trying to get her life back together. She told me how she loved her baby boy and thought she had done the right thing when she gave him up, but now she just felt duped.

It was now my turn to cry.

I felt so sad for her. She gave this family her baby, a part of herself, and they repaid her with a broken promise. Maybe they need some time, maybe they will return her calls eventually, maybe they are scared she changed her mind…but all I could think about was this sweet girl standing with me, wondering if the perfect, beautiful boy she told me about was okay. All I could do was cry with Jaime and give this sweet birth mom a big hug and a promise of prayers for the situation.

I pray that this family will realize that the sweet birth mom, who sacrificed greatly, is important to their child. I pray that they will allow her to be a part of this baby boy’s life. I pray that Jaime will find healing for her broken heart as she parents her other two children. I pray that all adoptive parents will learn to appreciate their child’s birth family, and embrace them as a part of their child.

Will you join me in praying for Jaime?  Will you pray for the adoptive parents and birth parents you know?

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